OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night