were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!