Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate