is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
