There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
