Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Text me some of your sweat
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