Plan B is the new Plan A
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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