i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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