I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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