One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
