we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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