New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
tell me about the eggs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize