I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
