Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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