Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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