Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
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I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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