Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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