So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
