woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
