Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
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Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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