why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize