Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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