his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
