Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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