Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
