I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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