is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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