trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
