I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
