She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
