I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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