Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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