dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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