u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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