Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
