I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
