It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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