Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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