There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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