How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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