Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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