is your mom at the bar?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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