Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
