there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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