rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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