i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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