Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
