thus making me awesome and them whores
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
