I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
