I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
