Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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