i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
