oh god the rape fog is back!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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