it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
