I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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