There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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