well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
