I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
