Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
