Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize