bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
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I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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