I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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