My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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