I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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