All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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