And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
