He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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